Thank you J Cole

To all the women with the flaws, know it's hard my darling
You wonder why you're lonely and your man's not calling
You keep falling victim cause you're insecure
And when I tell you that you're beautiful you can't be sure
Cause he don't seem to want you back and it's got you asking
So all you see is what you lacking, not what you packing
Take it from a man that loves what you got
And baby girl you're a star, don't let 'em tell you you're not
Now is it real? Eyebrows, fingernails, hair
Is it real? if it's not, girl you don't care
Cause what's real is something that the eyes can't see
That the hands can't touch, that them broads can't be, and that's you
Never let 'em see you frown
And if you need a friend to pick you up, I'll be around
And we can ride with the windows down, the music loud
I can tell you ain't laughed in a while, but I wanna see that crooked smile - J Cole


As I type this, I am jamming to J Cole's song 'Crooked Smile' . So obviously I was inspired. This song is pure and beautiful in terms of rap. The chorus is catchy and the words resonate with an air of truth, for we all can relate to what he has to say. Some more than others. I for one technically have a crooked teeth and instead of getting braces I made the choice to stick with my imperfections ( Before the song was made), and yet sometimes when I see those beautiful people on the red carpet I tend to pause and think maybe just maybe I should also fix my looks to fit society and to be considered beautiful. Every time these thoughts hit me though I run to songs like 'crooked smile' and 'beautiful' by Christina Aguilera and I enter the reality that looks don't matter and that imperfections are marvellous because its better to be different than just another societal shade of grey. So here's to all our imperfections whether its a crooked smile, love handles, a disability a disorder or anything of the sort, because these quirks are what make us who we are.

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.”   - Steve Maraboli

xxx
 

I am my own love

This year has been a rollercoaster in terms of my emotional well being, and boy am I glad that I was single for all of that. Don't get me wrong I am just like any other girl whose already planned her wedding and the future (all the way down to my twins and our future pet dogs name i.e Lisa-Ann and Rose and Rufus for the dog) and I am all into the concept of finding my soul mate and whatever. But sometime I made the personal decision to leave the concept of dating and too focus on myself and all the things that I needed to accomplish and fix in my life. Being single gave me the opportunity to sit back and watch all my friends go through young love and the heartbreaks that came with them. The thing I concluded though from my own small group is the fact that many of my friends, as lovely as they are have a fear of being on their own and tend to throw themselves into being in a relationship and I am not sure if its whether they felt they could only define themselves by the title of so and so's girlfriend or because they felt that being single meant no one wanted them or maybe the pure and honest answer is that they were so full of young love and butterflies that they felt that they needed to share it with everyone. Who knows. But what this year did for me was give me the opportunity to meet so many new guys of all walks of life , I wont lie the flirty banter is fun , but that's just it , banter because at the end of the day no matter how hard the flirting they all understand that I am not the young naïve girl who will fall in love with the dreams they attempt to sell me, but instead I am a young women who knows what's going on around her and that it takes more than a few good night texts and wink faces to catch me hook line and sinker. Who knows maybe I'll find my prince charming but for now I am a movement by myself and I plan to use my time not chasing boys but instead chasing drinks and dreams.

“Single is no longer a lack of options – but a choice. A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your relationship status but to live every day Happily and let your Ever After work itself out.”
― Mandy Hale, The Single Women: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass
 

New shoes / Never judge a book by its cover

 

I am here to confess that I own 7  okay I lie 10  Sorry my bad, what I really meant to say was, that I own 14 pairs of High Heels.

Before you judge though, let me explain. For me when I buy a new pair of shoes I get into that particular state ( You know the one like when your at a party and your tipsy but not drunk, yet your close enough to drunk that your mind knows that if you have that one more shot of tequila or even beer then your going to be the definition of drunk. Yeah That Feeling). Anyway this post was a more than just a new pair of shoes(I just got distracted) It was more the experience that came with buying these shoes. I bought these shoes in the middle of a shady alleyway at a shop owned by a Nigerian couple by the beach side. Normally I wouldn't be found in those parts of town because the fact that you can only pay by cash and that you don't get receipts doesn't sit well in my 'Coconut' system. But my street savvy sister was the one who dragged me there as a way of exploration and truly in all honesty I can say I am grateful she took me there, because I was able to get these shoes at a bargain price of R250 and another pair of Betsey Johnson heels for a cool extra R125. So generally my note and consensus for you all, is that you should always be open to new places and keep an open mind because you never know, that piece of coal could actually be holding a diamond.

 

 

Coconut* - A term for someone who is black on the outside but white on the inside

 

“Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.”   ―     Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of discipleship

 

xxx



New beginnings

I know the title might not make sense purely because its not a new year or anything, but its a new beginning for me. I have finally began to smell the roses that is my life and I've begun to walk away from that dark and toxic place I was in. So PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE  TO LEARN AND GROW FROM HERE

. My first order of agenda is to blog like hell and use this avenue as a way to self express and as a sort of visual and textual( #DontJudgeMyEnglish) diary to one day look back on. This blog wont necessarily have a theme and might not get any followers or any support, but that's okay because I am doing this for me and for my own sanity. By any chance if your an actual human being reading this, proceed with caution for my thoughts and views will not be censored. if you enjoy please follow and spread the word, if not then truly there is nothing I can do for you, because this is me and this is my therapy.

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”   - Carl Bard

xxx